Would You Date Someone From Another Country?

International romance. It’s complicated, confusing, and different from anything else I’ve ever encountered. I’m surprised I have even allowed myself to fall for a guy from another country knowing what it entails. I keep telling myself that I should really try to date people closer to home… yet the exact opposite keeps happening!

Date at Pumpkin Blaze

Since I first started dating an international student from Spain (at my American college) I have constantly asked myself the question, “Is it unwise to get romantically involved with a student who is only going to be around for a limited amount of time?”

The answer to this questions remains somewhat unclear to me. I have convinced myself to try to live-in-the-moment and to enjoy what is “now” as opposed to what “will be.” With every relationship I enter, I quickly begin to envision what the future may look like. Except with dating an international student, it suddenly becomes very complicated to do this.

For the most part, dating someone from another country has been a welcome departure from the norm. As much as I enjoy the usual dinner date or trip to the movies, it’s even more exciting when sightseeing becomes a more plausible option. There are very few things in life that I enjoy more than traveling. When you are literally dating a ‘traveler’ it becomes much easier to arrange dates that involve visiting new places.

Photo Oct 20 9 57 46 PM61
Our day trip to the Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze in New York.

Dating someone from another country can bring forward unfamiliar customs and traditions you may not be used to. New food, new phrases, new ways of looking at the world. For me, it has been been like having a fresh set of eyes enabling me to see the world in new ways. So far, I haven’t had to deal with any outright instances of culture-clash but the fact that I come from a very Italian-American home and am now dating a European guy may be helping to keep our views on things more balanced than they would be otherwise. Regardless, I think openness is key.

11Photo Sep 19, 6 10 41 PMConsidering our relationship’s potential “expiration date” has probably been the hardest part for me so far. Commitment and everything else becomes somewhat of a gray area when you’re dating someone who is only around for a few months. I suppose it is at least worth mentioning that my grandparents did have a successful transnational relationship but their situation was also very different.

On one hand, it’s scary to think about getting close to someone only to have them taken away in one year’s time. On the other, what good is living a life without creating memories to look back on? I recently read a post that really resonates with me so I’ll share an excerpt from that here:

No one can say how hard you’ll fall or how attached you’ll get when you enter a new relationship, even if it’s one that you know you will (probably) need to end at a certain point. When you get involved with someone who lives so far from you, there’s always the chance that he’ll take a little piece of your heart with him. But that can be a good thing, too. “…Falling for [him] was the best thing that ever happened to me,” says Kristine. “People always ask me, ‘What’s going to happen next?’ but I’m not worried about that. I took a chance and fell in love, and for now, that’s enough.”

And that’s just it. Right now, the pros outweigh the cons so I’m willing to take that chance. If that ever starts to change, then we’ll know it’s time to reevaluate.

19 Comments

  1. Great piece of writing, lovely pics and such insight. I hope that it works out for you both, I have someone in a different country and it can work if you make the effort; if it’s right then it’s right. Look forweard to hearing all about it…lol. D.

  2. Hi Rocky,

    How can I send you a private message? =)

    thank you

    Jordan Jayce G. Mamauag

    * AP Assistant Khumbu Enterprises Inc* *For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. **Jeremiah 29:11*

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  5. Hello, this was beautiful. I am in a similar situation right now. I am Canadian and my boyfriend is Dutch. He is currently applying for permanent residency and the process has been stressful to say the least. I never imagined falling for someone from another country but I really believe he’s the one. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who’s in relationship is complicated by time, citiZenship etc. Thanks for making me less alone, check out my blog for more on my story and situation if you’d like. Best of luck with love and life xo Hannah

    1. Wow, thanks for reaching out, Hannah! Yeah, our situation isn’t exactly “common” and there is definitely a loneliness that comes along with our reality. I saw one of your posts just now and I definitely feel like we’re in quite a similar situation. At least emotionally. My boyfriend isn’t going to think about coming back to the US for at least one year because he has to finish his degree in Spain before anything else. Anyway, these things can be emotionally straining for sure. Best of luck to you both! Let’s keep in touch. I’m caught up with some work right now but I’ll read through your blog in greater detail as soon as I have time this weekend.

      1. Of course!!! Definitely need all the support we can get and I’m so happy to find people in this situation because it IS uncommon and not many people in my life can relate. Thank you and to you as well! I’d definitely love that!!! I will make sure to check out yours as well, thanks for the follow, can’t wait to read and chat more 🙂 🙂 🙂 xo

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