Happy Spirit Day Everyone!

Inequality is something that I don’t believe I really experienced as an individual until I started dating men. It was only once my boyfriend and I started going out together in public that I observed various discrepancies in the rights of straight couples compared to LGBT couples.

I’ll begin with a quick story that relates back to my experience with dating. Everyone makes such a big deal about “coming out of the closet.” It’s so hyped up that it almost seems like a necessary step. A step that will resolve all your problems.

Once you’re out, you’re free. Right?

Well, not quite. That’s probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned since I started dating another guy. Even when you’re out and proud, inequality still poses a serious challenge to enjoying a satisfying relationship equal to that of a straight couple.

I think a primary example of this is holding hands in public. An ordinary and innocent act of affection. Yet so people still do a double-take when they see two men or two women holding hands. That’s one thing I don’t think I expected. When my boyfriend and I go out in public, we often have to debrief about whether or not it’s safe for us to walk hand-in-hand. And sometimes, we simply know right away that we can’t.

Ha that may even sound silly to someone who doesn’t go through it but it’s very much a real problem. I think it’s unfair that so many LGBT couples have to determine whether or not it’s safe to publicly show that they care about one another.

This is just one example of many. There’s also issues with the comments people mumble, the actions people take, and the legal rights we receive, just to name a few. The list goes on and on.

I’ll never forget this one night, me and my boyfriend were walking to a small coffee shop before it was time to see a movie. We had both gotten something to drink and we were on our way back to see the movie. As we walked along the sidewalk deeply engrossed in conversation, we passed by a restaurant where people were seated outdoors. There was this one table of guys who were all talking really loudly. Someone flicked a red-hot cigarette and it hit me. I glanced over at the person who threw it and continued to walk on. After I had taken a few steps, I could hear one guy from behind say, “Dude, I think you hit someone with that,” and the other guy said, “Nah, just one of the gay guys.”

Oh, I guess that makes it ok. :/

Random pic of me, my boyfriend, and our friend at the beach this summer.
Random pic of me, my boyfriend, and our friend at the beach this summer.

There are many instances of inequality in society that put LGBT individuals in disadvantaged positions. Has inequality ever affected you in any way? Share your experience.

4 Comments

  1. carmenaliu

    Hi Rocky,

    This post was really interesting! I love how you used your own personal experiences to show the existence of a bigger problem that exists in our community. Personally, I wouldn’t find it strange if I saw an LGBT couple in public holding hands, however I know some people who would. In general, I love how many of your posts let readers get a feel for who you are and what it’s like to be you. Your personality really stands out and that’s a great aspect of your blog that keeps readers engaged! Love your posts and looking forward to reading more of them 🙂

  2. It is unfortunate that in the year 2014 people still have to feel insecure, judged and unsafe because of their personal attributes. I have dealt with inequality, slightly different from yours. I have three brothers, and my parents are very old school, so you guessed it, I can’t do anything my brothers can do. Now that I am 23 and gained control over my own life, things are different. My brothers were allowed to go to the city in high school and go on vacations with their friends and I wasn’t. So whatever I did had to be done with my own money and I had to just do it. Me and my friends actually drove to Florida last spring break, I didn’t tell my dad until the day before I left that I was going. At that point who’s gonna stop me? I had my own money and told him I wasn’t going to bother asking because I shouldn’t need his permission to spend my money on myself and at that age I should be allowed to go on vacation. He was so shocked, but saw that I was really making moves on my own, that he insisted on lending me money! Being the only girl my parents protect me too much, but expect so much more from me than my brothers. Sexist? A little bit, but they did motivate me to grow up and take care of myself. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do and don’t let anyones opinion get to you. Because at the end of the day if you’re content with who are then that’s all that matters!

    1. Hi Darlene! Thanks for sharing your experience. Gender inequality is very much a real thing. I’m sorry that you were in that position growing up. Sometimes, I feel bad for my little sister for the same reasons. I see what mom and dad say yes and no to and sometimes I think to myself about whether they would have still said no if I had asked instead. Good for you for standing up for yourself! 🙂

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