How My Family Discovered Grindr on Christmas Day

I come from a small family where I’m close enough to my relatives that I can say with confidence that I am the only gay one. My family seems like they have the potential to be accepting to the LGBT community (especially if they knew about ME) but that doesn’t mean that they currently accept homosexuals with open arms. In fact, I heard a few rather homophobic comments coming from my own dad today. The stuff they say is enough to make me feel too uncomfortable to come out to them.

Every time my uncle throws a party, he invites this one guy, a very close family-friend. He is a 70-something year old gay guy who was always very close with my grandfather. He is gay but you’d never guess it based on typical gay stereotypes. My family has known about his sexuality for years, accepts it (I guess?), and continues to welcome him to our parties so I’m assuming they’re cool with it?

I guess this guy has been messing around with the world of digital dating (he’s single) because all of a sudden, as I’m in the middle of a conversation with my mom, sister, and two female cousins, he walks in the room with my dad and two uncles, whips our his iPhone, and says, “Look at this guy!”

Photo Dec 25, 6 17 00 PM

He shows us a picture of a reallyyyyyy hot guy.

In my head I instantly thought, “Gosh… he looks so familiar! But why? And he’s cute!”

He continues, “He’s only 300 feet away. This guy is on a gay app called Grindr.”

Aaah. That’s why I knew him.

My uncle hosting the Christmas party shouts, “That’s my neighbor’s son!”

My one cousin shouts, “And I went to high school with him!”

There was a mini uproar as everyone “freaked out” over the gay guy next door.

This guy then finished by saying, “You’re welcome stranger! You’ve been outed by your neighbor’s friend. Aw poor kid.”

I sat there in silence with three troubling thoughts. First off, I recognized this kid which was just weird. Second, I had to sit there and ACT like I didn’t know what Grindr was meanwhile I could have probably explained it better than this guy did himself. Third, OH NO! I HAVE A PROFILE ON GRINDR.

My account on Grindr has no photos, no details, nothing. It’s empty but it’s there. 

Photo Dec 25, 9 35 12 PM

This man was freaking out with my dad and my uncles because they found a gay guy less than 300 feet away. Well that’s super because that means there was an empty profile image right before that one with no photo but a distance of even less than 300 feet BECAUSE ME AND HIM WERE IN THE SAME ROOM!!! He would have to be pretty foolish if he didn’t put together that the blank account is mine. He has to know now. He just has to.

And that’s the story of how my family discovered Grindr and the boys on it right before Christmas dinner.


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