My Biggest Mistake

Nothing feels worse than knowing someone is mad at you over something you had absolutely no control over. As I sit here typing this post, I literally feel sick to my stomach.

Just last night, I was thinking about my friends. I realized that I couldn’t think of anyone who blatantly made it obvious that they didn’t like me. I was thinking about just how lucky I am to be on such good terms with everyone I know. The last time I was involved in any sort of fight was middle school when some girl tried stealing one of my closest friends. Thinking about what took place today, I must have jinxed it. After today’s Calculus class, I can now say with total confidence that someone in my life absolutely HATEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS me. Like hates beyond words. And the worst part, it’s totally my fault. But at the same time, it’s not my fault! In total seriousness, I couldn’t have done anything to change what would have happened without making a bit of a scene. 

Here’s the story:

Five classes ago, this girl in my Calc class asked me to tell the professor that she was running late because of the snow. The professor loves her and I didn’t think he would mind her tartiness so I never said anything. Just as I suspected, he never said a word when she walked in. She was fine so ok, whatever.

The day of the next class, the same girl was running late because of the snow again and asked me to tell the professor once more. Like last time, I didn’t think our professor would mind so I never said anything. This time, however, she walked in late and to my surprise, he DID say something to her! She was under the impression that I had already told him in a confused voice so she said, “Didn’t he tell you I was running late?” and the professor was like “Um no…” and she was like, “..Wait. What about late class?!” and he was like, “Mmm no.” and then she sighed and walked to her seat. SO AWKWARD. I apologized to her after class for never telling the professor and explained how he never gave me the chance to say anything and she said it was fine. Life went on.

Now, here we are a week or two later. The girl texted me today AGAIN saying, “Hey, I forgot my textbook at home so I’m going back to get it. Please tell the professor I’ll be late.” and I responded, “Don’t worry! This time I’ll make sure he listens to me!” and for the first ten minutes of class, I legitimately made so many efforts to get him to listen. I called out, “Professor?”, I put my hand in the air, I even tried getting out of my seat to get his attention. HE REFUSED TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME. Kind of freaking out, I texted her, “HE ISN’T LISTENING TO ME.” and she quickly replied, “Just interrupt him.” But it’s not that simple. It’s a lecture. You can’t just blurt something out. 

By the time I could do anything, SHE. WALKED. IN. 

Panting as she approached her seat next to me, her first question was, “Did you tell him?” and I paused and was like, “err no.” and she let out such a loud sign of frustration and was like, “DUDE. You’ve gotta….” she mumbled something but her voice trailed off so I couldn’t hear the rest. She had every right to be mad at me.

But here is the thing! My professor is mean. He walks right into the room and starts teaching. He doesn’t give anyone a chance to talk. He doesn’t make eye contact with me. What am I supposed to say? “Excuse me, Professor, sorry to interrupt our complex trig differentiation lesson but xyz told me to tell you she is running late.” Ok and what would his response be? “Ok. Thanks for getting our lecture off task.” It’s too awkward!

I feel SO guilty now. She wouldn’t respond to anything I said to her and she left class without saying a word to me which has never happened before. I suppose I deserve that. I feel so bad now. I have to apologize (again) and hopefully our friendship will go back to normal. 

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